By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
