this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
