Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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