i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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