I'm going to rape someone's good day.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
