I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize