So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
