Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
