When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
