All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize