Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
