Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
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