remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
