remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
