and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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