i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
