In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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