He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
