North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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