Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
