Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
