my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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