Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
