Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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