i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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