Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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