I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
should my penis look like a turkey
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
