Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
