Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
