okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
