At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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