Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
