doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
