i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
