yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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