Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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