What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
