Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
