Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
