I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
