I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
