I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
