After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
