I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
