Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
