Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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