New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
