Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
