Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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