I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm just crazy horny about you
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You were trust falling into bushes
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
