So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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