Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
