I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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