So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize