Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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