maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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