Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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