Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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