recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
They took my balls.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize