Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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