why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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