If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
