I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
